Is your daddy a fireman? Because you make me turn red all over and
go "Woo woo!"
Your magnetic field aligns my spin towards you, babe!
If I rub you, will I get three wishes?
Your name must be Nike, 'cause I wanna just do it.
Your name must be SARS, because you make me all light-headed and
woozy.
May I drink wine from your sweaty sneakers?
How about you and me play spin the bottle? <---hilarious!
Sometimes love sucks, but baby, I suck all the time!!!!! Wink, wink!!!
Nudge, nudge!!!
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread
the word.
I may not be Wilma Flinstone, but I can sure as hell make your bed
rock.
Is your daddy retarded? 'Cause you're special!!
You have monkey wrench eyes; every time I look in them my nuts tighten.
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want
a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
Do you want to see something swell? <---What!? ...
OH! Sick!!
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and
gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and
it ain't floppy.
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your
name?
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my
drink?"
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
<---that's just wrong
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69? I'm sure you can offer
69.
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to
arm and flex) To the gun show!
Got two nipples for a dime?
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to
ride the me.
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder?
(Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written
on your forehead?
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
**Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met
before?**
(lick thumb and touch girl's clothes) Let's get you out of those
wet clothes.
**I lost my cell phone number, can I have yours?
Did you clean your pants with Windex, I can practically see myself
in them.
**Hey Babe, want an easy way to make fifty bucks?**
**Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?**
**So, you're a girl, huh?**
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first (don't EVER use that).
My names isn't Elmo but you can tickle me anytime.
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right.
**Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming
to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!**
**Good day for weather.**
*****You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing!
(laugh hysterically at yourself.)*****
This is such a classic!!!!
**Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes,
yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself)
Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!**
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
**Your pocket protector is making me hot.**
If you go out with me, I'll stop stalking you. I swear, scout's honor.
**You're still ugly, buy me another beer.**
Can you help me find me puppy? I think he ran into that cheap room.
You look a little pale, how about some mouth to mouth?
What would you REALLY do for a Klondike bar?
Are you free tonight or am I going to have to pay?
Hey, I'm redecorating my room and I think you'd look great in my
bed.
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep till
the afternoon.
**Well, you're not hideous.**
So, what should we name our kids?
I lost my chap stick, can you moisturize my lips?
**I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?**
Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day, I'm just asking for one!
Guy: I have a magic watch that tells me you aren't wearing any panties.
Girl:
But I am wearing panties.
Guy: Oh -- it must be an hour fast.
Don't stick out your tongue unless you mean to use it.
I love you almost as much as my goat. <---KATE!!!!
**If you were a tree, I'd, uh, like, really be into trees!**
I wish I were cross-eyed so I could see you twice.
**Baby, you're sexier than socks on a rooster!**
<---WTF!?!
I've been hunting all my life but I've never seen a rack like that!
Fat penguin! (What!?) Just thought I'd say something to break the
ice.
Umm, you've got something in your eye, oh nevermind, it's just a
sparkle.
You make me want to wake up every day just to see your beautiful
face.
If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.
I think, er, heaven hurt you and -- no, wait. Um, do you believe
in walking by love at first sight? No that's not it, uh, I have Windex in my...no. Oh, what the hell -- YOU'RE PRETTY!
Why is it I gotta climb a hundred mountains to get you, but all you
gotta do is smile to get me?
(Hand a girl a rose.) I just wanted to show my rose how beautiful
you are. <---LAME!
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would always be
walking in a garden.
Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take
a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?
I wish everytime I opened my eyes I could see your face.
Love is a very complex word, but I think I just
found the meaning of it. <---awww
I'd say "Bless You" when you sneeze, but I can see that God already
has.
If I had you, I wouldn't have to dream anymore.
We've got a lot in common, 'cept you have your phone number and I
don't.
You have something on your cheek... (Lean forward and brush it off,
close to their face, then say:) Actually, you don't. I just wanted to see your gorgeus eyes.
I like hot girls, and you just happen to be a hot girl. What a coincidence!
If you ever look this good again, I'm gonna be forced to make love
to you.
I'm researching the finer things in life. Mind if I interview you?
My imaginary friend thinks you're beautiful.
Top Ten Bad Pickup Lines for the First Day of School
-So... you come to Detention often?
-Baby, life is an extra credit question...and you're the answer.
-(In the
cafeteria:) Your name must be Chef's Special, 'cause you sure look yummy.
-Are you lost? 'Cause my
locker is that way.
-Are you on the soccer team? 'Cause your body is kickin'.
-(In Earth Science class:) You
might be igneous or you might be metamorphic... but baby, you rock.
-I'm about to get on the honor roll, 'cause I'd be
honored to get your number.
-You and I should be lab partners...'cause we got chemistry.
-If you were my homeroom teacher,
I'd have perfect attendance.
-Hope you've got a hall pass, 'cause you're trespassing in my heart.
-The yearbook photographer
must be rich, 'cause he gave you a million-dollar smile.
-My pencil is No. 2 but baby, you're No. 1.
-(In English
class:) Can you help me with my book report? It's on The Book of Love.
-I must be flunking geography 'cause baby, I'm
lost in your eyes.
-Let's go conduct some Social Studies.
-I don't know much about algebra, but I know You + Me =
x (where x is defined as "forever")
-Can I be one of your extracurriculars?
-(In gym class:) You remind me of the
Presidential test, 'cause you get my heart racing.
-You know, colleges like to see PDA on your transcript. So let's get
you into Harvard.
-I flunked my astronomy test 'cause I looked at you and saw stars.
-I'm going to need some more
electives, 'cause there just aren't enough languages to express how fine you are.
