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- - The O.C. - -
Ryan: I like you, and I'm not giving up.
Alex: She can't fall for you unless you're there to catch her.
- - Reba - -
Van: Barbara Jean, you don't ask a pretty blonde hard questions!
You just sit and admire them!
Van: According to my driver’s license, I wasn’t
born yesterday!
Van: See, here you go again! You have…lie-a-ria.
Cheyenne:
Yeah, well, you have…jerk-a-ria.
Van: I’m going for a new, unique look. I call it…vantastic.
- - What I Like About You - -
Holly: Something horrible happened on the day of the SATs.
Professor:
Oh no, what!?
Holly: The questions were REALLY hard."
Val: What have you been doing?
Lauren: Thinking.
Val: No, what have you REALLY been doing?
Val: So, did you break up with him?
Lauren: Umm, not so much as break up as...I'm engaged!
Lauren: I want to tell you something that I've never told you
before. I have a deadly sickness.
Val: Really!? What!?
Lauren: I don't know yet...but it's lurking!
- - Step By Step - -
Frank: Men aren't suppposed to be sexy. That's a woman's job.
Men are just supposed to be hairy.
- - Days Of Our Lives - -
Take me home, and, make love to me!
Sammi: Make love to me, Lucas, right now.
You're the only one that can help me now.
Yes, doctor, I've
been expecting you...
Will: They even had to share the same sleeping bag...although,
they weren't doing much sleeping...
Grandma, I have to tell you something.
Have you been seeing
dead people?
How did you know!?
Sammi: Ah! There's a snake in the sleeping bag!
Lucas: It's ok, I won't bite you.
Sammi: You're the only man for me, Mr. Fuzzy.
Lucas's Mom: I don't want to hear this!
Lucas: Well, you'd better fasten your seatbelt because there's
something going on between Sammi and me!
Ugh! I’m surrounded by idiot losers!
I am not a loser! **(but you are an idiot…)**
- - That 70s Show - -
Fez: I still remember when Kelso said, "Ha, that's not a tator
tot...that's a tator giant!" Oh, how we laughed.
I too resist your tot.
Kelso: Okay, I'm here. Where are the cat and the trampoline?
Eric: That's not funny, Donna. I can't even do "it" now...Yes
I can.
What are you, some kinda foot licker?
Eric: No, I wouldn't
lick! I'd BE licked!
In fact, that would make this romantic triangle more of a romantic...rhombus!
Donna: I’ll make it up to you. I could have a naked girl
in here in 10 seconds.
Eric: Great, send her in. I’ll see you later.
Eric: Not for me. Breaking into a place where they train people
to kill people who break in…
Eric: How do you keep finding us? I’m wearing all black!
Kelso: Isn’t that a chick movie?
Eric: Kelso, chick
movies are major make-out movies.
Kelso: Oh, then I’m in!
Hyde: Brownies! I could make brownies! People LOVE brownies!
Eric:
No they don’t.
Hyde: Oh, people love MY brownies.
Kelso: Hey, you know who has two thumbs and loves brownies?
This guy! [points to self]
Fez: I’m glad you’re not going to Funland because
you would suck the fun out of it, then it would just be called “Land Land.” … I’m sorry!
I will bring you a candy apple, okay?
Fez:
I’m happy when I look at you, too. But when you talk, eeh.
Kelso: That’s the
police motto, to serve and impress.
Brooke: I thought it was
to serve and protect.
Kelso: Ya, uh, they just
changed it.
Kelso: Stop copying me.
Kid: Stop copying me.
Kelso: I’m stupid.
Kid: You’re stupid.
Kelso: Damnit!
Fez:
That’s just a present for my friend…Fez. Dammit!
Red: Son, you don’t
have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass.
- - King Of Queens - -
Carrie: I'm going to kill you. And not like, "haha, funny,
I'm gonna kill you." I will STOP your heart.
Doug: Well, I was expecting pinecones and I got a square shaped
bird!
Carrie: Just nudge it!
Doug: No! It will bite me!
Carrie: Owls don’t bite! They where glasses! They’re
the nerds of the forest!
Carrie: Doug, I love you.
Doug: I love you, Carrie. Wow, that was great. Now I need
a cigarette.
Doug: We talk about food, what’s on TV, we make fun
of strangers, and dammit, it works!
- - Passions - -
You can’t just turn off your feelings like a faucet!
I’m sure you’re sad about Kay. I’m the one
that hit her with an iron rod!
What’s wrong with me? I’m supposed to be a manipulative
little bitch!
(Girl gets shot and is lying on the ground.)
She’s
so still! **(no duh)**
Someone…shot at me? …with a gun? **(no,
a bow and arrow…)**
- - Newlyweds - -
Jessica's Dad: Well, Jessica has been waiting to have sex until
she was married so now I think we’re celebrating that she can, have sex until she’s blue in the face! And sing
about it too! **(wow, too much info there, dad)**
- - Sweet Home Alabama - -
Jake: Why do you want to marry me?
Melanie: So I can kiss
you whenever I want.
Melanie: You were the first boy I kissed and I want you to
be the last.
- - Friends - -
(Pheobe, Monica, Chandler, and Joey in Monica’s room
and Joey pulls out a box of “supplies” for when they get stuck in a room while Ross and Rachel fight.)
Pheobe:
Madlibs!? Ooh! MINE!
Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: You don’t know how long we’re going to be in here! We could
have to repopulate the earth.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that…
I don’t want to freak you out or anything but I think
I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Pheobe: Oh, phew, I know. That’s Bob.
Chandler: You and I both know that once Joey sets his mind
on something, more often than not, he will have sex with it.
Joey: I have to organize my thoughts.
Chandler: Thoughts?
Plural?
- - The Simpsons - -
Homer: Oooh, you're in trouble. When a woman says nothing's
wrong, everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, everything's wrong. When a woman says that's not funny, you
had better not laugh your ass off.
(giving advice to Bart)
- - Seinfeld - -
George: I’m gonna read a book, from beginning to end!
In that order!
Jerry: I’ve always wanted to do that…
George: I did a lot today. I bought a recliner with a refrigerator
built right in.
- - Grounded For Life - -
Lily: I need to talk to you about Jimmy and
Taya.
Mom: Ya, he really needs to stop doing that.
Lily: No, they’re going out now.
Mom: Does she know!?
- - Random - -
“We learn from experience that…men never learn
anything from experience.”
(George Bernard Shaw)
Article
in the Seattle Times describing freak dancing: bumping-and-grinding moves..to sexual intercourse with clothes on.
So next time someone asks you to take it off, just shampoo!
**(yes, because I get asked that all the time)**
(Sheer Blonde shampoo commercial)
Every great story starts with a great adventure.
(Nissan commercial)
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