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- - Benny And Joon - -
Did you have to
go to a special school to learn that?
No, I actually got kicked out of school for that.
- - Van Helsing - -
Frankenstein's Monster:
Let me go!
Carl: Where are you going to go? I don't know
if you've looked in the mirror lately, but you kind of stick out in a crowd.
Dracula: Igor, do unto others...
Igor: Before they do it unto me!
Van Helsing: That's why you're coming with me.
Carl: The hell be damned that I
am.
Van Helsing: You cursed. Not very well, mind you, but you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all.
Carl: Actually,
I'm still just a friar. I can curse all I want...dammit!
Hyde: So You're the great Van Helsing.
Van Helsing: And you're a deranged psychopath.
Hyde:
We all have our little problems.
Carl: Why is it so important to kill this Dracula anyway?
Van Helsing: Becase
he's the son of the devil.
Carl: I mean besides that.
-
- Napoleon Dynamite - -
Deb: I'm saving for college.
Kip: Your MOM goes to college!
Napoleon:
Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes
all day.
Don: Hey, Napoleon, what did you do last summer again?
Napoleon: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in
Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins,
what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon: A freakin' 12-gauge,
what do you think?
Napoleon: I see you're drinking 1%. Is that cause you think you're fat? Cause you're not. You could
be drinking whole if you wanted to.
Trisha: Thanks for the beautiful drawing. It's hanging in my room right now.
Napoleon:
Really? It took me, like, 3 hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
Kip:
We chat online for, like, 2 hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.
Napoleon: Tina,
you fat lard, come get some DINNER! ... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD! ... Tina, come get some ham.
Nathan: Napoleon,
give me some of your tots.
Napoleon: No, go find your own.
Nathan: Come on, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon:
No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't get to eat anything today.
[Nathan kicks the tots in Napoleon's pocket]
Napoleon:
Ugh! Gross! Freakin' idiot!
Napoleon: Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon: But my lips
hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon:
I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Kip: See ya.
Napoleon: Ugh! Idiot!
Napoleon: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma:
Knock it off, Napoleon, just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!
Pedro: Who was that?
Napoleon: Trisha.
Pedro:
Who's she?
Napoleon: My woman I'm taking to the dance.
Pedro: Did you draw her a picture?
Napoleon: Heck yes I did.
Uncle
Rico: How long is the chat room?
Kip: Jeez, sometimes up to 3 to 4 hours maybe... Maybe not.
- -
Sweet Home Alabama - -
Jake: Why do you want to marry me?
Melanie: So I can kiss you
whenever I want.
Melanie: You were the first boy I kissed and I want you to be the
last.
- - Somebody Like You - -
What's on your neck!?
I bit myself shaving.
- - Van Wilder - -
Van Wilder : I've learned that you can't treat every situation
as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times.
Van Wilder : Are you stalking me? Because that would be
super.
Van Wilder : Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives
you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
Van Wilder : What is wrong with people today?
Hutch : [taking a hit from a bong] It's the internet, it fries
their brain cells.
Van Wilder : Don't be a fool, wrap you're tool.
Hutch : I've got a plan. Let's go get fucked up.
Van Wilder : Sounds good.
Van Wilder : I know Ms. Pac-Man is special. She's fun. She's
cute. She swallows.
Van Wilder : Her name's Naomi. That's "I moan" backwards.
Van Wilder : Wow, If he's here, who's running hell?
Gwen : I'm glad you went to all your classes today.
Van Wilder : And a few that weren't mine, I stepped in the wrong room, liked what I heard... stayed.
Gwen : Well I think it takes a lot more then the kind
of underwear one wears to define them as a person.
[Van looks shocked]
Van Wilder : Like what?
Van Wilder : It's a date.
Gwen : It's an interview.
Van Wilder : First dates are interviews.
Taj : Doesn't she have a boyfriend?
Van Wilder : Details. Only details.
Richard: Did you do it, Gwen?
Gwen: Well,
it’s kinda hard in 12 seconds…
(**Burn!**)
- - 10 Things I Hate About You
- -
I might go out with her if she was the last
person on earth...and there were no sheep...are there sheep!?
Now, I know you can be overwhelmed and you can
be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?
Bianca: I think you can in Europe!
Bianca:
There's a difference between like and love. I like my Sketchers, but I love my proda backpack.
But I love my Sketchers.
Bianca: That's because you don't have a proda
backpack.
Ooooh.
Dad: You are not going out and getting jiggy with some
guy, no matter how dope his ride is! I'm down, I got the 4-1-1!
Kat: Joey can plow whoever he wants.
Dad: There will be no plowing!
Kat: I hate the way
you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I
hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick -
It even makes
me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh -
Even
worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate
the way I don't hate you --
Not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all.
- - Emperor's New
Groove - -
Izma: Squeak squeaken.
Kronk: More...spinach puffs?
Um, I've been turned into a cow...can I go home?
You're
excused. Anyone else?
No, we're good.
- - Meet The Deedles - -
Phil:
That's so diculous it's REdiculous!
- - Young Frankenstein - -
Frankenstein:
Wherewolf!
Igor: There wolf, there castle.
Frankenstein: Why are you talking like that?
Igor: I thought you wanted
to!
Frankenstein: I don't want to.
Igor: Suit yourself, I'm easy!
Igor: There are some nasty looking switches over there
but I'm not going to be the first.
Frauer Blukah: Yes! Yes! He vuz my boyfraynd!
(with candles not lit) Frauer
Blukah: Stay close to zee candles, ze stairs can be traycherous.
- - Monty Python
- -
Bring out ya dead, bring out ya dead!
I'm not dead!
Yes you are!
I don't want to go on the cart!
Oh, don't be such a baby!
- - Finding Nemo - -
Crush: Righteous!! Righteous!!
Crush: No
hurlin' on the shell, dude, I just waxed it.
- - Rookie Of The Year
- -
Pitching Coach: Some players like to ice their shoulder after the game while others would rather heat
it. But I have discovered the secret. Hot Ice. You put the ice cubes in
the microwave! It's the best of both worlds!
- - Spaceballs -
-
I'm half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- - Cool Runnings
- -
Sanka! Whatcha smokin!?
Sanka: I'm not smokin, I'm breathin!
Sanka: I could draw a line down the middle
of your head to make it look like a butt.
Whatever's wrong with you is no little thing.
- - Center Stage - -
Eric: This is Serge, Eva, Jodi, I'm Eric, and you're cute.
Charlie:
If this isn't the right room, I'm staying anyway.
Eric: No problem here, baby.
Jodi: Cooper, you're a great dancer and
a wonderful choreographer but as a boyfriend, well, you kinda suck.
-
- Chicken Run - -
Me whole life flashed before me eyes! It was pretty boring.
- - Mulan - -
Mushu:
I come in travel size for your convenience!
Mushu: Dooown Bessy!
Mushu: She's all grown up and...saving China!
- - I-Spy - -
You might as well put infinity
right on there ‘cause I ain’t never gonna looooose.
It’s like a bug but it looks like a leaf; it’s
a leafy-bug!
Hell yeah! Float like a jelly bird!
- - Good Boy!
- -
Can I have a cookie? Wait, can I have 3 cookies? No, can I have...20 cookies!?!?
- - Cheaper By The Dozen - -
Dad: Beans was a good frog. Not like all
those bad frogs you hear about these days. He hipped, and he hopped. He liked hip-hop.
- - Win A Date With Tad Hamilton - -
Cathy: I wonder what Tad Hamilton is doing right now.
Rosie:
I bet he's in church.
Richard Levy: Congratulations. You're actually drinking, driving, smoking, leering,
and groping at the same time.
[Other] Richard Levy: Which on one hand, is just about the coolest thing ever...but on the
other hand, maybe isn't so great for the image.
Pete: Congratulations,
you've just eaten your body weight in pringles.
Pete: Wait until you discover the barbeque flavor. Then, you'll become a woman!
Cathy: Tad, if you are going back to the airport, I will ride with you, and by the
Route 73 cloverleaf, I will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the drugstore!
Tad: Ya...ok, it
was nice meeting you!
Richard Levy: Your values are different. She...has
them!
Pete: Angelica...
Angelica: Yes Pete? What is the object of your desire?
Pete: Umm, we'd like another round.
Angelica:
One day, Pete, one day, you're going to say "You, Angelica, you are the object of my desire."
Pete: Right, okay, but for
now, we'll just go with the beers.
Angelica: Love you get over in two months, big love you get over in two years, and
great love, well, great love changes your laugh. So which one is it?
Angelica: Well, you have to win her back!
Pete:
Believe me, I've tried everything.
Angelica: Well, what did she say when you told her you loved her?
Pete: Ok, maybe
not everything.
Angelica: How did she react when you kissed her?
Pete: Ok, maybe just two things...
- - Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - -
Ace: Warning! Psychos in mirror are
closer than they appear!
Landlord: Ventura!
Ace: Yes Satan? Oh, I'm
sorry sir. I had you confused with someone else.
Landlord: I heard animals in there.
Ace: I never bring my work
home with me.
Landlord: Oh ya, what's with all the pet food?
Ace: Fiber!
Did you have any trouble getting in?
No,
the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.
Ace: If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer!
Ace:
Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you KNOW Snowflake? Does he call you at home? DO YOU HAVE A DORSEL FIN!?
Ace: Hey,
maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911?
- - Romy And Michele's High School Reunion - -
Michele: But it is actually, kinda sad. I just get
really happy when they finally let her shop.
Michele: Did you lose weight?
Romy: Actually, I have been trying this
new fat free diet that I invented. For the past 6 days, I’ve only eaten gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
Michele:
God, I wish I had your discipline.
Romy: I can’t believe how cute I look.
Michele: You know what? This is
like, the cutest we’ve ever looked.
Romy: Oh, it’s definitely the cutest. Don’t you just love how we
can say that to each other and know that we’re not being conceited.
Michele: Oh, I know. We’re just being honest!
Michele: Hey, remember that time I barfed from bad Mexican food. It was so gross.
Romy: Ooh my god, I hate throwing
up in public.
Michele: Ugh, me too!
Romy: I swear to God, sometimes, I wish I was a lesbian.
Michele: Do you
want to have sex sometime just to see if we are?
Romy: Gross, Michele. Even the thought of having sex with another woman
gives me the creeps... But if we’re not married by the time we’re 30, ask me again.
Romy: Oh my god! Do
you remember what a huge controversy it was to have our picture taken together?
Michele: Oh ya, well, Danny Weller, like,
lodged that complaint. Well, you know, because, alphabetically, he was supposed to be between us.
Romy: Then we said,
okay Danny, if you want to be between us, you can come to Michele’s house on Friday night and we’ll be waiting.
Michele:
And then he came over and we were like, “Danny, it was a joke!”
Romy: I know! Then we turned the sprinklers
on him!
Michele: Oh my god. Didn’t he die?
Romy: I think so.
Michele: So, Romy, really, what group were
we in?
Romy: You know, I don’t really think we were in a group. I think we were more like, loners.
Michele:
Even though I had to wear that stupid back brace and you were kinda fat, we were still totally cutting edge!
Michele:
Oh, remember the Prom? You got so thin by then!
Romy: Oh, I know! I was so lucky that I got mono! That was like, the best
diet ever.
Michele: Oh my gosh, Romy. You look so good with blonde
hair and black roots, it’s like, not even funny.
Romy: Okay, who lost her virginity first?
Michele: Well,
to your cousin, Bonny! That’s not really anything to brag about!
Michele: Ya, supposedly, he invented some kind
of special rubber.
Romy: Like, for condoms?
-
- Bring It On - -
Darcy: Why do we ALL have to go on a diet?
Sparky: Because in cheerleading, we throw
people in the air...FAT people don't go as high!
Courtney and Whitney:
You're having cheer sex with him.
Courtney and Whitney: Don't play dumb, we're better at it than you.
Torrence:
Aaron, you're a great cheerleader but maybe you're just not..."boyfriend material."
- - Brother Bear - -
Rutt : You wouldn't like us, eh. We're really gamey.
Tuke : Ya... eat hoof for brains over there.
Rutt : Oh nice, eh. Pinecone breath!
Tuke : Crusty tail!
Rutt
: Twig legs!
Tuke : Big nose!
Rutt : [gasp]
Tuke : ...sorry.
Rutt : You went too far that time.
Mabel
: This year, I lost my dear husband, Edgar.
Edgar: Stop tellin' everyone I'm dead!
Tuke : I love... dew.
Rutt
: I love dew too.
Kenai : I'm not a bear. I hate bears.
Rutt : Well, gee, eh, you're one big beaver.
Koda
: When I get in a fight, I go all crazy, and I'm a raging ball of brown fur!
(Tuke is “driving” a mammoth)
Tuke
: Get out, eh. I'm driving.
Rutt : Wha... when can I have a turn, eh?
Tuke : It's not as easy as it looks. Now just
watch what I do, okay?
Rutt : Well, let's get a back seat or something. It looks like ya hunted me.
Mabel : If
only EDGAR was alive.
Edgar: I told you woman I'm right here.
- - Random - -
I'm coming to get yoooo, Mason!
(Psycho killing movie in Purnell)
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